“Set me like a seal on your heart,” Song of Songs 8:6.
Over the past few months, God has moved mountains in my life and broken strongholds that I never believed would be gone. With each new step He has asked me to trust Him more, even when I didn’t understand and didn’t think I could. Holy Spirit has empowered me to believe more. God has confirmed dreams and rekindled love for the marginalized that I had let die down. I would like to say it’s been an easy journey, except that would be a lie. I’ve pushed myself more, prayed more, struggled to find my footing more and cried more and in the end, God’s grace has always been more. He has never failed me. I have truly set Him like a seal on my heart and He will not let me fall.
Yesterday morning, with the cool lake wind blowing gently on my face as I sat the lake’s edge, God asked me to give Him my dream of moving to New York this year. He asked me to believe that He has a better plan, a plan I can’t even see yet. He asked me to trust Him with this dream knowing completely that He will take me to the city that He has placed so much love in my heart for…just not now. Again, I would like to say this was easy, but that would be a lie.
Then God reminded me of Abraham and Sarah. God promised them a legacy of generations so vast they outnumbered the sand on the beach and they doubted. They doubted because they were old and outside of the norm for bearing children. They didn’t really believe God was able, so they took matters into their own hands instead of waiting on God. Abraham’s first born son was from another woman, not Sarah, and to this day there are issues between the descendants of Ishmael and the descendants of Isaac, Abraham’s son from Sarah. God was faithful even when Abraham and Sarah couldn’t believe. I don’t want that to be more story.
I am confident that I could have figured out how to move to New York this year. I am also confident that God would have blessed us and allowed us to prosper. I am more confident, however, that I wouldn’t have chosen His best for me, I would have settled and in that, I would have had increased stress and anxiety. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth (Ps 121:2) and I want to follow Him as closely as possible. In that moment by the lake, I asked for another way that didn’t involve giving Him this dream right now and I knew, absolutely knew, that there was no other way for me to go. So, through tears, I handed this dream over to the Author of the dream itself. I set Jesus as the seal on my heart a little tighter and I believed that there is more for me in the waiting.
Here’s the deal, God is all about free will. I had the option to hold on to the dream with no fear of repercussions because God is about love for His children. He will let you go and, when He needs to, He will rescue you. My heart doesn’t want to be rescued anymore, it just wants to follow His path the first time. I won’t be perfect, I don’t even strive for that, but I do strive for obedience. God has a plan and I want to follow that plan always. Even when it means I go back to people and say “thanks for the support but I’m not going now”. Not “now” as in never going, just not at this time. I have more things to do here where I am and more to learn before I go on to the next big step. God trusts me to follow Him and I have shown myself deserving of the trust. I hear Him well and when I can’t, I seek Him out until I do.
Set God like the seal on your heart. Give everything you have to God and when you think you have nothing left, ask Him if there is more to give. He is faithful and if He is your focus, you will never go wrong. You may not understand what He’s doing in the moment, but you will never go wrong.