What if you believed in the dreams in your heart? What if you believe they are from God and because of that, your simple obedience will make them come to fruition? What if you believed that you can change the world one person at a time? What if you declared your legacy? How would you live differently???
The dreams in my heart are to love people with the love of the Father. That love is unconditional. That love went to the cross. That love released a man overcome with demons named Legion. That love healed hearts and bodies. That love asked, “Where are your accusers”, and when there were none to be found, even in the face of guilt, replied, “I don’t accuse you either”. That love says right now, “I’m never going to leave you or forsake you so trust Me”.
My heart longs to help people live lives that are fully in the presence of God. I don’t care what your story is, I want to hear it and I want to be part of it because I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that God is for you…always. We spend so much time rehearsing the junk and so little time at the foot of the cross just laying it all down. I want to help people lay it down and never pick it up again. I want to help people lay down shame, condemnation, self contempt, hatred, unforgiveness…the list goes on and on.
My dream isn’t an easy dream and it isn’t a small dream. It’s also not a dream I can do on my own because it’s not a dream I would have chosen. It’s messy getting into the story of another person, especially when you are overwhelmed with empathy. It’s terrifying to have someone else’s story trigger some part of your own and then you have to face your own healing journey. It’s exhausting changing how to think and approach the world around you. And boy oh boy, it’s joyful, exuberant, jubilant, amazing and just flat out awe inspiring to see someone grab hold of the Gospel for even one second because that’s the seed planted. That’s the light in the darkness. That’s the love of God breaking through.
I let go of my dream a little bit last year. I decided to listen to a voice other than my Father’s and shrug my shoulders and say I’m not good enough for my dreams and that they are just too big for someone so small. Well, not doing that any longer. Today I declare that I’m going to follow my dream of being a pastor. (My eyes are full of tears as I type that word because I instantly hear “disqualified” as I see it.) I am not disqualified from the dream that God has planted in me: to shepherd people to follow God. I understand fully the hard work involved and guess what, God is able! I’m recommitting to the classes I need to take and the process I need to follow. I have no idea the outcome except this: if God is for me, I don’t care who’s against me!
Here’s my ask of you…pray for me. Pray that I stay focused. Pray that I learn well. Pray that I listen and pray well. Pray for my family and close friends.
Jesus, forgive me for letting go of this dream for even a moment. I am deeply sorry. Thank you for leading me so lovingly. Thank you for showing me the dream You have placed in my heart. Give me the strength I will need to see this through and bring You the glory and the fame. Help me not see “pastor” and feel “disqualified”. I love you Lord with all of my heart, mind, soul and being. May I shine as brightly as you believe I can…that’s WAY brighter than I think I can! Amen.