Refuge

“Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.” Psalm 142:5

Yesterday started out bad and emotional. I woke up and started crying immediately. Have you ever had a day like that? Where when you wake up you are just…off? I was letting the stress of this life get to me and I was losing my eternal perspective and as soon as that happens, I start to feel overwhelmed. I was facing a challenging conversation at work and coming off of challenging conversations at home. I was trying to hold people accountable for their actions when really all I wanted to do was say, “it’s ok, I’ll pick up your slack. Don’t worry.” I was wanting someone to come in on a white horse and pick me up and carry me away. I was Peter who walked out on the water in faith, looked at the storm around and started to sink. I wanted a place of refuge only I wanted it here on this earth instead of with my Redeemer, Jesus and my heavenly Father.

It is not always easy for me to be single and here’s why…I want someone here and now to physically touch my arm, give me a hug and tell me it’ll be alright. I am a leader at work, at church and at home and I am that not because I seek it but because it is who God as made me and I love it! And yet some days, I want to be the slacker who lives in their mom’s basement. Yesterday was that day, I just wanted to be a slacker. I wanted everyone else to hold themselves accountable and not make me do it. I didn’t want to hear the news of close friends being laid off, of people worrying about being fired and of my daughter complaining that I was being too hard on her for not doing her homework. And if I’m being completely honest, I wanted a drink. Alcohol is completely off-limits for me for the rest of my life and I know that. And in the midst of the stress of yesterday, as I called people to pray with me who weren’t at their phones, as I felt as alone as it gets, my enemy was quick on my heals to say go have a drink. It’ll relax you. Everyone drinks when they have stressful days. It’s ok, you don’t have a problem with it anymore. Thank you Jesus that I didn’t believe those lies!

My day started in tears and let me tell you how it ended. My day ended with me sitting in one chair reading my bible and my daughter sitting in her chair reading her book. We then decided we would get ready for bed and read our favorite childhood books to each other. So we laid in bed and I read two of my favorites which I’ve read a million times to her and she read me two of her favorites. God had provided me His refuge. God had reached down, touched my arm and said, “It’s going to be alright.” As we prayed together and then chatted, I was struck with how amazing my life is and how all I really want is to be with God.

God is my husband, He is the one on the white horse that rides into my life to pick me and the best part of that is He never rides out! I forgot yesterday that I was on His horse and I thought I was alone on my own. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.” And then down in verse 10 it says, “For the mountains my depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed.” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

So my prayer today is, “forgive me Father because I lost sight of you as my refuge yesterday. Forgive me that I tried to go through the day on my own without remembering that you are always with me and you always have compassion for me. Thank you for not letting me give in to the temptation of alcohol. Thank you for loving me through my daughter. Thank you for being my everything. Thank you.”

If you are feeling the stress of this world, turn to God as your refuge. If you need a prayer partner, send me an email at kaprayingforyou@gmail.com. We do not go through this life alone ever so don’t believe that lie. Live in God’s love, grace, peace and mercy.

Love you,

KA 🙂

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Think Up

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2

I don’t know about you, but my brain can go from 0 to 60 on a thought process and before I know it, I’m thrown into a panic attack that is crazy! Let me give you an example. Many months ago I cracked a tooth. Now this cracked tooth went for a long time with no pain or discomfort so I kind of figured it was no big deal (of course, the fact that I dislike going to the dentist aided in my ability to ignore this tooth.) One night I got a screamin’ earache and toothache and from the time the ache began till about 10 minutes later, I had moved from “oh it’s nothing” to “I’m going to get a brain infection from this dumb tooth and die!” My heart was racing, my face was flushed and I was in full panic mode all because I let my thoughts go crazy. Have you ever done something like that?

I’m convinced our thoughts are one of the primary ways the enemy attacks us. He gets in our head and drops these little bombs of unhappiness, discontent, fear and we help him by entertaining the thought instead of thinking up, to heaven. If my brain is set on earthly things, I never leave the house. My panic and fear gets all consuming and I know there is destruction around every single corner and I forget that there is Someone so much bigger on my side. On the flip side, I am convinced that our thoughts are the primary way we stay close to God. When I wake up singing a song of praise in my head, that leads me to prayer and thanksgiving. When I face a challenge and immediately think of a verse or even the paraphrase of a verse, my thoughts are pointed up and my spirit soars!

If you are reading this and thinking, “Kellyann, you don’t know the script in my head, it’s just too hard to think my way out of it!” I would agree with you. YOU can’t do it on YOUR strength, but you can change your thought habits and patterns with God’s strength! The second half of 2 Corinthians 10:5 say, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” When you feel your thoughts causing you to look at this world instead of looking to heaven, take them captive. Stop them in their tracks right there and pray, “God, stop these thoughts in me head”, and then replace them with a praise. This is cumbersome at first but over time it becomes an instant response.

We all, especially women, have chapters and chapters of earthly thoughts in our head that are negative and destructive. It’s time we rewrite those into words of beauty and love and set our thoughts on heaven where we get to spend an eternity with our Heavenly Father and loving Redeemer. Set your mind on heaven, speak out loud, “God loves me and His love is bigger than my negative thoughts.” Set your mind on heaven, write down bible verses to carry with you to read when you feel your thoughts slipping to this world. Set your mind on heaven, draw near to the God who is bigger than every negative thought you’ve ever had all rolled together. Set your mind on heaven.

My prayer for you is that you live in God’s love, grace, peace and mercy. If you would like a prayer partner, please email me at kaprayingforyou@gmail.com. Think up!

Love,

KA 🙂